Thursday, May 01, 2008

A fish is not a vegetable

As you may or may not know, I'm a vegetarian and have been for almost 9 years. While in my ideal world, no-one would eat meat, I do not judge you harshly if you do. I am, however, writing this clear up what it actually means to be a vegetarian as it seems a few bad eggs are tarnishing the definition. Too many people lately have been showing me that the meaning of the word has been blurred by offering me things which, by proper definition, I do not eat.

If you do not eat, beef, chicken, pork or fish, congratulations! You are a vegetarian!

Did you see what was in that sentence? FISH. Vegetarians eat a plant based diet and do not eat any dead animals. A fish is a dead animal and not a plant.

Too many people lately have been saying to me, following my stating that I am a vegetarian, "Oh, okay, but you eat fish, right?" When I say "No." it is followed with a puzzled expression, and possibly a little fear that I am some extremist nut after which comes the well intentioned offer of salad. These fish eaters who call themselves "vegetarians" have been ruining it for us.

If you are someone who eats fish, but no other meat, you are still NOT a vegetarian. Please stop saying that you are if you have been.

In no way, shape or form is she a vegetarian.

If you are a carnivore and someone tells you they are a vegetarian, please do not assume they eat fish. If it turns out they do, they've misrepresented themselves.

Someone saying they are a vegetarian when they eat fish is no different to someone claiming they aren't racist, but only hate Asians.

Jonathy: Gosh, I can't wait for November. This election is going to be historic!
Benjamund: Yeah! I think it will be really exciting! I hope Hillary whoops McCain's ass.
Jonathy: You don't like Obama?
Benjamund: Are you kidding me? A guy like that's going do some crazy shit like appoint someone to the FDA to put fried chicken and watermelon on the top of the food pyramid! Plus he'll probably clean out the White House after his term. He's probably already cased the joint.
Jonathy: Fuck, dude! I never knew you were so racist!
Benjamund: What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not racist! My best friend is Iranian and my wife is Vietnamese! It's just blacks I don't like. I can't believe you thought I was racist!

See that? Benjamund only hates ONE little race, but it's enough to make him racist. If you eat just that one little species of animal, such as fish, you're not a vegetarian, you're a pescetarian. Read about it, learn about it, embrace it. Count me out of it. I'm a vegetarian. Use your word and popularise it and leave my word out of it! I'm not judging you for your food choices, but your word choices. I know it might be easier to use that term, but it's inaccurate and making my life difficult.

I'm the kind of dork that writes letters to companies to complain about faulty merchandise and such, so here is my letter to (they DO have a section for people to write to point out incorrect definitions, so I'm not entirely crazy) regarding their definition of "pescetarian" which says they are a vegetarian who eats fish:

I'm writing regarding the definition you have for the word "pescetarian". The definition on the site states that a pescetarian is a vegetarian who eats fish. This is an oxymoron. By your site's own definition, a vegetarian is someone who does not eat any meat, including fish. Your definition of a pescetarian could be acceptable if you were also to accept the notion of a virgin who only has sex on weekends or an equal rights activist who is homophobic. A vegetarian who eats fish ceases to be a vegetarian. A better definition can be found on Wiktionary which states a pescetarian is someone who consumes no animal flesh, with the exception of fish. I hope you can see this inaccuracy and amend the definition of pescetarian accordingly.

Here's just a few of the many things we vegetarians eat that aren't salad!
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