Thursday, September 01, 2005

Narcissism or loathing?

I find myself sitting down to write my first blog, but by no means my first rant, and wondering if I apply to my chosen subject. I want to just go off tap about some grotesquely narcissistic people I had the misfortune to encountner a couple of weeks back, but then I find myself in this quandary of feeling so self absorbed myself that I dare even think my opinions are worth penning.

Am I worried that this proves I am just as enamoured with my own opinion that I am no better than the people I intended to write about? What am I worried about? I can't tell if it's finding this out about myself, or rather just fear that it will appear this way to other people.

Let's see if I can figure out where I stand. First, I'll ask myself why I want to write this. A few reasons, I guess. I think one of the main reasons is that I just want to get a lot of things off my chest. I am just so fucking riddled with opinions about so many things ranging from the globally important to painfully trivial. I think I see this as a way to unload.

Having said that though, lets look at WHY I want to unload. I think so much about this and that and how fucked up so many aspects of life are that I feel like by bitching and moaning and drawing attention to things, I can make a change. Of course, I don't have much of a platform for this other that berating the ears of my poor friends and family. Am I struggling to be taken seriously? Do I think by putting my thoughts in an official format that heed will be taken? I don't know what I expect. I don't even know if anyone will read this or if I will ever even show anyone. I wont kid myself. I am writing with the intent to share which is why I foist the "Are YOU, Simone, a fucking narcissist?" question upon myself. Well, I am going to give myself 10 points for at least worrying about it, though I don't think that in and of itself can get someone off the hook.

Okay, so here's the question. I've got it. Am I worried about BEING a narcissist? Or am I simply worried about been SEEN as a narcissist. Two very different things! While I ponder that, I will say that if i plan to continue this at home, I simply MUST HAVE a new keyboard. These little golden nuggets of wisdom will, without question, get lost amongst the sticking keys at home.

I think I am worried about being one. Why? I don't really care if people think this or that about me. If I did, I wouldn't say half the things I say. When we grow up, we are taught you have to love yourself for anyone else to be able to. In most cases these days, I think that is taken to extreme where people love themselves so much and above and beyond any love they have for other people. I think my fear of being narcissistic stems, not actually from self-love, but rather low self esteem. I seem to lack the confidence to put in writing what I think. I seem to be asking how DARE I think my opinion is worth putting out there for others to read. I don't think that is self-love. Shit, it's almost self HATE. I wasn't expecting to come out with that answer!

So there appears another purpose for this blog. Self discovery! It sounds cheesy, but I think it's true.

I really want to over come my fear of writing. Maybe the more I blab on this thing, the easier it will be for me to come out of my shell. In any case, I think there is room for me to start liking myself a little more.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Together we can put an end to lousy entertainment

Do you feel like you are the only person you know who sees that Britney Spears doesn't have the talent worthy of all her success? Are you tired of hearing word that Justin Timberlake is now an 'artist'? Are you frustrated to see stories of Paris Hilton's missing chihuahua making headline news? Does it concern you that Linkin Park is what's considered 'rock', today? Are you bothered by the fact that 'Meet The Fockers' has been number 1 at the box office for three weeks in a row? Do you find more are more people are admitting that Madonna is a fucking hag?

If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, there is H.O.P.E. for you!

Check out and unite with a group of people dedicated to purging the world of sub-standard entertainment. So far, our group has staged a protest of a Paris Hilton book signing and an Ashlee Simpson CD exchange for people who realised they were duped into buying her lousy album.

Join us in our quest for better entertainment! Read the blogs, check out 'Paris burned' and see what we are all about.