Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Doin' beans



What did YOU do last Friday night?


"Dear Jelly Belly Candy Company (Bertie Bott's Division),

We immensely enjoyed your 10 flavors of beans, however the fun ended far too soon. Once the bean party was over, we sat around devising new bean flavors.

We would like to take this opportunity to submit to you our list of what we hope to be future bean flavours.

Blood
Dust
Clove
Sweat
Body odor
Homeless Person
Just Farts
Feet
Bad breath
Spoiled meat
Garbage
Off cheese
Mould
Infected wound pus
Salt
Seaweed
Liposuction fat
Cilantro
Burnt hair
Burnt fingernails
Onions
Chili
Stale bread
Off milk
Bacon
Marijuana
Ash tray
Natural Gas
Gasoline
Vicks' Vaporub
Exhaust
Deodorant
Vinegar
Perfume
Ass
Decomposing body
Roadkill
Tree bark
Leaves
Fertilizer
Dirty undies
Period
Toilet Duck
Phlegm
Cheap tequila
Leather
Plastic
Sea water
Chlorine
Poo/Dog poo
Urine/Asparagus pee
Dick cheese
Ink
Tobacco
Cough medicine
Dog food
Refried beans
Toothpaste
Canker sore
Fingernail dirt
Paste
Maggots
Crayon
Dissolving tablet
Airplane food

We understand that some these may not be feasible, but we expect the majority of the list will be of great use to you. Aside from our many suggestions, we would also like to request the return of the popular sardine flavor!

Thanks for taking the time to consider our suggestions.

Kind regards,

Agatha, age 29

Simone, age 29

Donna, age 30"



Dumbledore, hoping for a caramel, downs an earwax bean instead.