Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Call me!

I am currently bored with the other blog I was working on and seem to have been putting it off all day, so I'll move onto something else that's bugging me. Yes, see? I'm writing something now. Great stuff.

So, the title refers to a very irritating phrase, one which I have reached boiling point with over the weekend. The person who pushed me over the edge will never read this, so I can say what I like, though quite frankly, I wish they would (without me having said I wished they would read it, though.)

Am I the only one who sees the phrase 'Call me' as a fucking insult? I can understand it in certain situations. For example, if two people are trying to plot something out, person A is at work and will be uncontactable for most of the day, while the person B will always be available, then it is perfectly reasonable for person B to ask person A to call them. Obviously the conversation is more likely to transpire if person A calls when they get a chance.

But when there is a situation where there is no knowledge of schedules, both people are busy with various things or neither are busy at all, how dare one person ask the other to "Call me"? I feel that it is really saying, "We'll talk if you can be bothered calling, because I sure can't." or perhaps "The continuance of this friendship rests solely on you." It's so completely narcissistic too. Like that person is far more important and busy to bother with you, but they will deal with you if you force it. I tend to say "I'll call you or you call me...or something," thus sharing the responsibility. It's when they say it filled with arrogance, not the neediness of the bear pictured above. (For the record, I pretty much hate teddy bears)

And despite my long time irritation with this phrase, I have swallowed it. And what happens? The person who asks you to call them never answers their phone, doesn't have voice mail and doesn't call you back when you send them a text message saying you tried to call!

Am I overreacting? I think not.

Admittedly, most of my experience with this phenomenon rests with one person. Others do it, but I have grappled with one person in particular for a number of years. Boiling point, as I mentioned earlier, was reached on the weekend when, after texting me all day to find out what time she was supposed to be at the show we were supposed to go to, at 10pm, she texts me saying she is still at work and will "try" to make it. By 10pm, you know there is no chance, especially when it is followed with "If I don't make it, call me tomorrow before you leave."

Yes folks (or 'folk' if Emily is the only one reading this), knowing full well that I was heading back to America for at least six months and was now bailing on her last chance to see me, my dear friend had the gumption to ask me ME to call HER. I just want to punch something when I think of the rudeness of it.

Well, of course I was not going to call her. I had to take a 15 hour flight and spend the last couple of hours with my parents. Like I wanted to spend a moment calling her, only to have her not answer. That's always the stingray barb through the heart. When you've swallowed your pride and called, and then they don't answer.

So I was all checked in and through security and I get another text message "SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT!!! Please call me before you leave." WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? If she is texting me at that very minute, why can't she just fucking dial the number? You'll be pleased to know I did not call her.

If anyone ever asks you, while you are talking in person, to "Call me," you should take their phone and shove it up their ass so they a/ have a reason they can't call you and b/ have a reason they can't answer when you do call.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Social retardation

My socially retarded heroes Enid and Seymour from 'Ghost World'. I'm an Enid who married a Seymour.

I have no problem admitting I am socially retarded. I suppose I like it because it explains away my problems and sometimes give me something to talk about. Once I get to know people or find a common thread, I am totally fine, but it's just the getting started part I have trouble with.

I met someone recently, who, after a minute if introducing ourselves, proceeded to just blabber on about bullshit and not letting me into the conversation. Showing his prowess in know-it-allism was also a real turn on too. Ugh.

As I irately relayed this 'exchange' (I should hardly call it that because I barely got to speak) to my husband, I declared this person 'socially retarded' and pondered on that person's failings which cause them to converse in such a fashion. My husband then told me that maybe I should be more sympathetic since I too suffer from social retardation.

I pondered for barely a moment before declaring that this was an entirely different strain. In my case, I am plagued by insecurity and self consciousness and as a result I aim not to saddle the innocent people I meet with my poor attempts at conversation and I spare them the awkwardness which ensues when I say something stupid.

The people on the opposite end of the scale are coming from a completely different place with their retardation. They are narcissists and the moment you give them a glimmer of attention, you find yourself held captive to their verbal diarrhea. Any notion of 'conversation' is lost as every time you offer anything, it is ignored and any new topic you enter into is immediately hijacked and becomes about the aggressor in said 'conversation'.

These people suck the life out of me and I don't have the strength of character to stand up to them. I want to be liked, so as much as I want to tell them to shut the fuck up, I keep nodding and smiling. Am I a fucking phony? Why do I want to be liked by these people? The best I have done so far is to start drifting from them. It's hard for me because I am attentive, but I'll be fucked if I am going to let one of these fuckers drain the life out of me. They've drained enough out of me already. They are like fucking zombies with no grasp on what is actually going on in a situation and are thus rendered incompetent at reacting accordingly and realising when they are boring people into an early grave.

So, as much as I hate my social retardation and am slowly try to work my way out of my "you're not worthy" mind set (me not worthy of the attention of others, rather than the other way around), I am very pleased that I am not taking others down with me. I am standing quietly in a corner bothering nobody while these assholes, suck the life out of anyone who dared to smile at them.

If you think you might be one of these people, please try and stop! You're fucking annoying!