Sunday, May 09, 2010

The emasculating handbag

A man proudly carrying the bag of his significant other

"Here," I said as I handed over my bag to my friend Robert. I was about to attempt to pick my friend Marilyn up off the ground as she had just picked up me and Robert. I didn't realise that while us ladies were fearlessly attempting great feats of strength, the male in our trio was left standing like a pansy holding a woman's handbag. It was a nice bag, and as such, I suppose all the more emasculating. Robert began urgent gesticulations and perhaps one may even call it nagging, that I relieve him of carrying my bag.

Once the bag returned to my possession, Robert proceeded to explain how there is nothing more emasculating than for a woman to hand over her bag to a man. Of course, he didn't need to explain it, for anyone can flick through the files of their mind and stumble upon the image of some poor hapless gentleman, without even a face, but the memory of a him with a woman's bag over his shoulder and waiting for womanly things to transpire does indeed evoke pity, without knowing anything else about this man.

This man is allowing himself to be emasculated by succumbing to the wrong mindset for the carrying of a woman's bag.

I thought about what Robert said and that we do all see a man with a handbag the same way and decided to set about changing public opinion for the man with a woman's bag.

If one were to examine the bag and it looked like something owned by a young to middle aged female, a time at which males are most concerned about maintaining the appearance of their masculinity and power of attraction, then the bag itself stands an indicator that they are in the company of a worthy mate, one with taste, and more importantly, youth. A man carrying such a bag, compounded by him loitering outside a clothing store carrying youthful styles should be viewed as, not emasculated, but as a mark of successful manhood, "I am a success as a man. The owner of this bag entrusts me with its contents and also her womanhood." in short "Somebody fucks me."

The pitfalls if the enhancement of the male ego gets out of hand from bag carrying.

So gentleman, this starts with you. Believe in the power of the bag. Then even when a friend or your mother asks you carry their bag, you can revel in the envy of all the bagless men who walk by you, wishing they were getting some action, even if you really aren't.

This might be a Jonas brother, but here he IS actually emasculated by carrying this bag as it's a Louis Vuitton and men do look douchey with it or any other designer bag, as do women.