Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Drag Queen anorexia

I was in my bathroom a few days ago with my dear friend Ag. We were both applying make up and I was extolling the virtues of my recent tip from dear Steph regarding a make up problem I was having. See, I love to wear liquid black eyeliner and make neat little swishes out to the side, and I also love my deep red matte lipstick. It's the only red that doesn't turn orange on me. It's so 1940's starlet, even if I'm not dressed like one. But often when I go for this look, I see photos back and think I look like a drag queen. Just over a month ago after taking some close-up face shots with Ag, I was mortified to see a drag queen looking back at me from the digital display.

When I told Steph about this, she advised me to go the lipstick without the eye make up to alleviate the drag queen effect. She had not seen the drag queen in me and was merely going on what I said. So as I applied only my lipstick and told Ag of my recently acquired advice, she concurred saying you are only supposed to focus on eyes or lips. I then went on about looking like a drag queen that night of the photos, and Ag said she didn't see it. Now, I know my Ag and she wouldn't say that if she didn't mean it. If it were true, she would either laugh or go quiet, but not flat out say I didn't look like a drag queen when I did. I said my hair looked crap when it wasn't curled and it was met with silence, a signal to me that she knew this to be the case. I appreciate that rather than the "Oh no! It looks fine!" rot. Ag's denial of the drag queen led me to wonder if I had drag queen anorexia. It's where you look into the mirror and see a drag queen where there isn't one. Perhaps it's more like drag queen bullemia because I tend to go all out with the make-up, think it looks fine, and then later see the drag queen and try to correct it.

Not my usual make up. I am trying to emulate Tammy Faye Baker for Halloween last year, but as you can see, I was still not heavy enough on the mascara and eyeliner.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Someone save the Babies on Board

I'm not going to get into how annoying "Baby On Board" signs hanging from the rear windows are. That discussion has been going for 15-20 years at least, to my knowledge! Obviously those people are annoying, saying "Please drive more carefully to protect my retarded baby who is likely to grow up like me which will lead to nothing but more retarded babies," so you can imagine how appalled I was this morning on my way to work when I caught one these "Baby On Board" tosswads* darting in and out of traffic, narrowly missing two vehicles just within my line of sight. Off they sped into the distance. Sadly, I did not catch up to them rolled on their side before I got off at my exit.

When I see people like that, I can only hope they kill themselves before the kill someone else. I then felt a little guilty this morning, for wishing the death of someone with a baby to care for. Then I realised that it is not my wishes that would be killing this person, but their own actions. I have no power to kill people with my wishes. The baby, presumably not on board at the time of the accident, will probably be a lot better off without such a reckless parent.

I've had a brain wave. Something to hang in the window as the child gets shuttled around from foster home to foster home:

*tosswad is a new word I made up. Sorta like a cross between a tosser and a dickwad. I casually used it in a bulletin and it was met with a great response. Feel free to carry the tosswad torch!