Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Toilet Technology

I've been an avid toilet user for the greater part of my life. While many things around me have made great technological advancements over my lifetime, I think the toilet and plumbing have taken a step back.

I'm quite sure when I was growing up, after a toilet was flushed all the water that rushed about would manage to contain itself within the confines of the bowl. I'd say for around 10 years or so this has changed as the water now seems to find it's way onto the seat very often, which induces confusion, fear and requires a wipe down before use. Obviously, I place paper on a public seat, but I'm not about to sit on wet paper, and so a wipe down is still necessary. Luckily, the toilet in my own home is well behaved, though it may just be a result of the archaic plumbing in our building.

I've asked myself if perhaps as a child I was unconcerned with a wet seat, willing to plonk myself anywhere without a care in the world. But alas, this is not the case. My mother ingrained her neurosis in me well. Too well in fact as I came to fear toilets so much that my avoidance of them occasionally led to some pant and bed wetting. I recently posed this idea to my mother, that my neurosis was derived from her, and unlike most unfortunate incidents which parents conveniently forget, she seemed willing to admit this one.

So by looking at my long held fear of toilet germs, I believe there is no way I accepted wet seats as a child, and so it would then stand to reason that the frequent splashing onto the seat is a new occurrence. It may also be argued that as an adult, my scope of toilets has greatly increased, thus exposing me to a variety of bowl and plumbing combinations. But I must return to the toilet at my parents house. I have known it it's whole life and was lucky enough to be the first one to use it (my sister still complains about this to this day) and I can assure you, it splashes excessively now which it did not use to do at all.

I'm dismayed that this frequent unpleasantness has, to date, not only not skirted discussion (to my knowledge,) but also has not been addressed by the plumbing industry. There is nothing worse than going into a poorly lit stall, identifying the presence of liquid and asking oneself "Water or pee?"

Won't someone please think of the children? They deserve to know a time when all seats were completely dry, just as we had the luxury of doing many moons ago.
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