Thursday, April 19, 2007

Idiotic tidbits from the last month

Well, I've really crapped out on my little goal of trying to put out a new blog once a week. But since it should be about quality, not quantity, I shall cut myself some slack. Though now that I have stated such, one might assume that anything I do release for public viewing has been deemed 'quality' by myself and harsh scrutiny by yourself of my belief should follow.


So, I've been quite busy over the last month, though not so busy in the two weeks preceding my last blog, so that's not much of an excuse. I was in Vegas for a trade show and won $50 with just a $3 investment, so that was a treat.

My winning machine.

Straight from Vegas, I flew to LAX and onto New Zealand where I spent six days with Gregg, my parents, my sister and her fiance as we celebrated my mother's 60th birthday. Included on this trip was a joyous trip to the Cadbury chocolate factory, joy which was punctuated by my dad and I linking arms and skipping and chanting "We're going to the chocolate factoreeeeeeee!" Video footage exists. Then onto Melbourne to catch up with my usual crew.

Me, delivering chocolate to happy people.

I'd just like to mention that before I went to Vegas, I WAS busy inventing a new word. The word is "oneion". "It's an abbreviation for "one onion". I admit that you don't really need to save time there, and in fact it takes up more time because you laugh so much when you say it, laughing which would not have occurred if you just said "one onion". I think if there is ever a shortage of onions, the term would be become popular and also, it can help reduce the amount of onions people buy because people will just ask for "oneion" so they have an excuse to say it.


Gregg: Do we have any onions?
Me: I don't think we have even oneion.


Back to the trip...well, I'm, not really talking about the trip at all, but rather some stuff that happened which coincided with the, I'm slowly becoming a grown up as I've been developing a taste for wine. Previous to this, I would suffer through wine as though it were cough syrup, but lately I've been ordering it with meals and have a bottle of white chilling in the fridge as we speak. I'm even thinking about going wine tasting! My parents live 20 minutes from one of Australia's finest wine countries! Not that I'm 20 minutes from it now, though! Anyway, if you only knew how much I abhorred wine prior to the last couple of months, you'd understand what a breakthrough this is. Now if I could give up the pre-mixed alcoholic drinks designed for teenagers and coffee with 5 sugars/pumps of flavoured syrup, I might be able to fully realise my potential as an adult.

Wine, I'll actually drink you now.

While in Australia, my love of Turkish Delight returned. The rose flavour in particular. After some mishaps in purchasing which led to paying $6 for about 200 grams, I hit the jackpot and found a 2 kilogram box for $9! I converted the weight and now I like to say I got a 4.5 pound box rather than 2 kilos because it makes me sound like a bigger pig. I ate a piece today and I felt a bit sick after it so I might have to cut each piece in half. At least doing this will prolong the pig box.

I really hated Easter this year and wrote a blog about how stupid and ridiculous the whole thing is, but I didn't have time to finish it, but I think it just came out of the fact that I was mad because the shops were closed. I still think Easter is rubbish, so the rant still came from my heart.

I got into an argument with one of my best friends because she reckons I'm crap for liking British Weetabix over Aussie Weet-Bix. When she accused me of switching to Marmite over Vegemite next, I threw her to the ground and ripped out a good chunk of her hair.

I went to two Go-Go classes and wore a dress I made. This dress is rad. The zipper melted when I ironed it, and it makes me so mad because it is no reflection of my dress making skills. I just have poor ironing skills.

Me and Emma and the dress that I made.

I went to see a mentalist and Gregg and I (mostly Gregg) broke my friend's heart by telling him how all the tricks were done. He really wanted to believe in magic. Sometimes I wish I had that naivety/ignorance. Nah. Sorry Dan! The magician levitated my drivers license from my hand. It was pretty impressive, but when he gave it back to me, I could feel some gunk on it. When I told Dan, he had a look of horror on his face was as if I had just told him Santa Claus wasn't real and he'd never heard such a shocker in his life.

We got back to LA yesterday and I went back to work today. As you may have guessed, I like to reveal my neurosis and such in my blogs and here's a new one: I'm really into the turning over of numbers. In September of 2005, I'd only been at my job for 5 weeks when I could see the big "50000" was looming ahead in the numbers given to entered orders. I was leaving the job, possibly forever at the end of six weeks, so you should have seen my furiously entering orders so I could have the pleasure of entering the big "50000". I made it on my last day and I shall treasure that day forever. At the time, I went away for two weeks and returned to the job, so my order entry has continued since then. Upon my return today, I discovered we are at about "59440" and I got goosebumps thinking about almost missing the big "60000"! I made it back in time! I predict the big turnover will happen in the next 45 days. I'll save the discussion of my joy over peeling off stickers from watch and LCD screens for another day.

Today we drove around and did some errands. I was happy to catch myself turning on the wipers instead of the indicator only once. I'm transitioning back the opposite side of the car well. The road itself is another matter. While out erranding (new word) we were just behind a woman in Jaguar and we both pulled into the supermarket parking lot. There were a couple of spots available right by where we entered, but you had to drive around a few cars to get to them, but this worthless rich bitch just pulled up in the roadway next to one of those little sections with trees, right across from the supermarket entrance and parked there. I was so mad at her, and since she was already in the shop by the time we reached her car, I spat on her windscreen on the driver's side. Who did she think she was? Behaviour like that really stings when the person is driving a really expensive car, looks like the wife of a producer and is too busy talking on the cell phone to give a crap about her obnoxious behaviour. So I spat. Am I an animal? This plus the Turkish Delight: all signs point to "yes".

Lastly, I just want to apologise for not commenting on people's blogs. I appreciate all your comments, and likewise, I read and comment back, but I've been slack and I'm sorry and I look forward to resuming my reading at once! Comments make the blogs go round, so while I'm not at all suggesting you were holding out for my tuppence worth, I'm just telling you I wish I had the time to contribute! I did read an article in the technology section of the paper (The Age, in Melbourne) about blogs and how the guy who invented the phrase has no money and how many blogs that there are and it was all great for reminding me how insignificant my little rants are. I promptly put myself on suicide watch.

A more focused blog to follow in less than 40 days, I hope.

*Some acts of violence depicted in this blog are purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only. For further entertainment purposes, which is which will not be divulged.
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