tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162238492024-03-06T21:25:20.687-08:00The Angry TikiA culmination of loves and loathes by yet another irrelevant person.Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.comBlogger115125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-83892953817325578872013-02-14T10:51:00.002-08:002013-02-14T10:55:02.564-08:00Noah's Ark: There must have been a better way
I presume most people reading this do not take the Bible 100% literally, however there are many people who do and I have had the mis/good fortune of talking to them. I knew a girl with what appeared to be an inquisitive and logical mind, however it soon became abundantly clear that she did not use her intelligence for good. A victim of the confirmation bias (latching on to information Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-1215228072487633892011-07-31T22:30:00.000-07:002011-08-02T19:48:05.720-07:00A funny thing happened while I was eating nachos...
Many of the funniest or most interesting stories you may have to tell may take place while doing the most mundane things. But remove the story and you're left with the fact that you were doing something you do all the time and of no discernible interest.
If you're reading this blog, no doubt you are a member of one social networking site or another and are sure to have come across insightful Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-78212362322438910442011-05-31T16:36:00.000-07:002011-05-31T18:19:58.117-07:00Name tag enlightenment
If you've ever worked a menial job, no doubt you have worn a name tag. And for the duration of wearing that name tag you can probably count the number of times by which you were addressed by your name and almost certainly most of those times your name was said with a smart alec tone "So, er..SimONE.. could you tell me where the jam is?" A name tag user seems compelled to put some unnecessary Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-80245948714014790912011-04-22T17:01:00.000-07:002011-04-22T22:12:43.426-07:00Y r u writing like this? i h8 it. do u no u look stupid?
While I may not always do the English language justice, I think it knows that I try my very best. When I learn of a mistake, after overcoming the initial effrontery followed by grief, time is taken researching, clarifying and then adapting this new information into daily use.
While understanding language is ever evolving, I am frustrated when, in matters of spelling, the lazy decide it'sSimonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-17562202162128536062011-03-18T17:24:00.000-07:002011-03-18T17:24:37.996-07:00Who needs a hug?I think this hug means more to her than it does to Jesus
Growing up in a Sri Lankan family, kisses on the cheek of every friend and family member who came in the door were mandatory. For most of my childhood I had no problem with it, but once I became a shitty teenager, I'd had enough. It's probably for this reason that I was more than happy to find in adulthood among the rest of Australian and Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-38848562230108398562011-02-20T16:21:00.000-08:002011-02-20T16:21:36.523-08:00The Conjured WedgieThe constriction of the safety restraints is one of many reasons why I wasn't a Formula 1 driver
I'd been lying still on the couch reading my Twitter feed and the links it provided for at least 10 minutes when Marnie, my youngest cat child, climbed onto the couch, walked on my legs and up my body to rest on my chest and knead my neck. The moment her paws hit my knees, as I knew she was headed forSimonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-30148327351946798972011-02-03T00:34:00.000-08:002011-02-03T00:35:32.710-08:00FarmVille: A Philosophical Justification
If you're a regular reader of this blog then no doubt an air of snobbery has shone through at one point or another. I scoff at bad taste yet, in what appears the height of hypocrisy, I must confess that I, like many other Facebook friends of yours, am a FarmVille tragic.
Quickly, for the uninitiated, FarmVille is a game where you plant make believe crops, wait for them to "grow", then harvest Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-60301572210206511792010-12-30T17:17:00.000-08:002010-12-30T17:26:09.377-08:00I'll never forget
Thousands of children and adults received Nintendo Wiis this Christmas and their ability to remember all the details over time is questionable. Speaking for myself, I would say getting mine is something I'll never forget because I still remember getting our first Nintendo in 1991. My sister does not. My declaration of never forgetting it is a reasonable one because it could go either way. My Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-81759823408954273142010-11-28T15:35:00.000-08:002010-11-28T15:40:17.203-08:00Gamer appreciationThis could have been me
With the festive season upon us it has become apparent that I will be receiving a Nintendo Wii from Jesus for Christmas. I am incredibly excited about this prospect but also a little concerned.
I'm certainly no hardcore gamer who spends 17 hours a day playing World of Warcraft. In fact, I don't really know much about any of these new, cool games at all and am likely to Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-67732853872365586342010-11-14T18:11:00.000-08:002010-11-15T22:29:32.112-08:00Vegas Baby - Why I'm embarrassed to say I'm going there
I just returned from one of my twice yearly trips to Las Vegas but please, just calm down. I hate that I can't just say that I'm going there and be done with it before whomever I tell gets the chance to say "All-RIGHT!", "You're so lucky!" or a sickly "Oooh! *wink wink*." Without a thought, I find myself saying, "I'm going to Vegas for work, but I hate it there." It's all those debauched Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-3263426225301896562010-10-10T20:25:00.000-07:002010-11-15T22:25:53.409-08:00The emptiness of an atheist
When confronted with the idea of not believing in God, many people are quick to convey the emptiness they see without the promise of heaven after they die. They express a sorrow for atheists who they see as having a bleak existence ahead of them.
While I understand where people are coming from with this need for more, once I solidly found myself without a belief in God and subsequently an Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-42377149726814979252010-09-30T20:05:00.000-07:002010-10-02T15:45:18.522-07:00Fresheners indeed
"Can we get an air freshener for the bathroom?" I would ask my mother whenever we encountered them. The promise of filling the smallest room in the house with a cheerful bouquet or a wander through a rainforest as shown on TV had convinced me this was a requirement for any civilised home. It is not that I was particularly sensitive to toilet fumes, but of course I was attracted to the Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-66855537002543497372010-08-23T22:13:00.000-07:002010-08-23T22:13:03.878-07:00Phantom feelings
Neurosis about germs is something that has run in my family for at least the last three generations and is a problem I have worked hard to shake. While a certain amount of germ awareness is healthy for the prevention of illness, some measures are taken merely to avoid the mental horrors one is plagued with if contact is made with a supposed contaminant.
My mother's fear that sock and underwearSimonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-68535135045642873572010-07-31T17:31:00.000-07:002010-08-06T13:55:05.166-07:00How to enjoy Coke
Ever since I was a teenager, I have shunned trends, logos and labels. For some odd reason, there was a period of a few years where this belief did not translate to my love of Coke. I believed that as Coke was something I loved and cherished and they had a beautiful logo, it made sense to wear a Coke t-shirt. Eventually, I couldn't reconcile this with my anti-corporate sentiments, so I rid Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-52089204901924167252010-06-27T13:58:00.000-07:002012-02-27T22:43:10.877-08:00Deconstructing the loss of Supergrass
Please turn on your speakers
Just two months ago I had no plans, nor did I expect to be in Paris two months later, but when musical tragedy struck, I found myself making the pilgrimage. On a day that began with rejoicing as I was about to hit the road from LA to San Francisco to see Faith No More reformed, a mere five minutes before I walked out to the car, I was presented Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-26858114009214928322010-05-09T16:29:00.000-07:002010-07-08T10:21:56.710-07:00The emasculating handbag
A man proudly carrying the bag of his significant other
"Here," I said as I handed over my bag to my friend Robert. I was about to attempt to pick my friend Marilyn up off the ground as she had just picked up me and Robert. I didn't realise that while us ladies were fearlessly attempting great feats of strength, the male in our trio was left standing like a pansy holding a woman's handbag. It Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-51519046627609089422010-04-25T01:49:00.000-07:002010-04-26T18:27:34.930-07:00The abuse of miracles
Out and out miracle abuse
While flipping through the slim pickings on cable for something to watch while I ate my dinner, I stumbled on a Discovery Channel documentary about sex. There was only 7 minutes left, but that was about all the time I was looking to pass anyway.
The show had reached the end of the process, explaining with such detailed, 3D, see-through graphics that I wasn't Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-60737793030512792122010-03-28T15:08:00.000-07:002010-11-28T14:51:03.754-08:00Get A Life - The desperate cry of the intellectually threatened and the obnoxiousThe guy that grooms that beard every day is telling me to get a life? Oh, okay.
No doubt someone has expressed that you should "get a life" at some time or another. It is also likely that you, yourself have said it to someone. The phrase is commonly used when someone is seen to be doing something that is deemed as a waste, disagreeable or unfit use of time. I hearby pledge to refrain fromSimonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-71340756706912844022010-03-19T17:46:00.000-07:002010-03-19T17:46:13.100-07:00How many curries constitute a festival?Two young curry munchers. Me on the left, sister on the right.
I'm not sure if you know this about me, but I'm a curry muncher from way back when. While my ethnicity if often viewed as either puzzling, exotic or "Chinese" to the un-cosmopolitan children in my primary school, I am in fact of Sri Lankan heritage, and subsequently, curry was poured down my throat for as long as I can remember.
To Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-82601282857404171702010-02-12T15:54:00.000-08:002010-02-12T15:54:48.853-08:00Public sensuality
I understand as much as anyone that music affects people deeply and emotionally and in other ways you don't talk about. At worst, I will say "This song excites me in a private way," and it is said with enough ridiculousness that it offsets any hint at real intimacy.
I just about had Portishead ruined for me forever when a co-worker volunteered the information that she found it "music for Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-34614804330239892432010-02-10T00:44:00.000-08:002010-02-18T16:54:34.918-08:00An open letter to the members of "rock" band Nickelback
Dear Nickelback,
I wish I could say I was the brains behind it, but nay, I am just a mere supporter of the Facebook group "Can this pickle get more fans than Nickleback(sic)?", which you have no doubt heard of by now unless your people have managed to cover your ears and eyes at every opportunity the news had of reaching you.
As the group has just passed 575,000 fans, all within about 5 days,Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-22287009248822089532010-02-06T17:14:00.000-08:002010-02-12T15:24:16.249-08:00In Teachers We TrustThere must have been something about me as a child which caused all the other kids to dislike me. In kindergarten and two different schools in my first year of regular school, I had no friends and was subjected to bullying. I think it was caused by combination of my foreign appearance coupled with my efforts to continue to have the world revolve around me as it did it home. By the time my ego wasSimonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-10641973308776482532010-01-27T15:05:00.000-08:002010-01-27T15:05:44.539-08:00What stood between me and the rubber gloves?
Back in November my friends Robert and Tessa had a farewell party at a bowling alley in Eagle Rock before what is hoped to be just a temporary move to Oklahoma. I went to the party alone, but soon befriended people by doing two things I do best: holding court about The Room ("It seems that I am the EXPERT, Mark!") and unashamedly performing karaoke.
I am not being modest when I say I am not aSimonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-54806227599966123642009-12-30T14:49:00.000-08:002010-08-01T18:45:37.739-07:00Public urinationI believe she has no arms because she is holding herself
At times it seems like it's only me, but women needing to frequently pee seems like a fairly consistent problem throughout our fair sex. We may forever be resigned to being viewed as the weaker sex on the strength (weakness) of our bladders alone. I'd like to say I'm better or worse than others, but honestly, there is no rhyme or reason to Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16223849.post-3902844200629018792009-12-21T01:48:00.000-08:002010-09-19T00:35:03.518-07:00Rage Against The Bullshit: Caring just isn't popular
This weekend has delivered us a bogus triumph in Rage Against The Machine's Killing In The Name taking the top spot for Christmas in UK over the winner of Simon Cowell's popcraptic X-Factor. Don't get me wrong, I actually love Killing In The Name and have done so since I first heard it in 1993, however my love for that song has never been able to blur the reality that the band, and most of Simonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15995741186393767934noreply@blogger.com0