There was definitely some serious Alanis Morissette Kool-Aid being passed around, even in countries that don't have Kool-Aid (click here and scroll down to "Drinking The Kool-Aid" if you don't know what I'm going on about) as many people lapped her up without question, not knowing about her debut release, tucked away in the used record stores of Canada with a tracks entitled Oh Yeah! and Party Boy. The machine foisting the new Alanis on us did all they could to suppress that history to deliver us this "genuine" article of edgy pop/rock female angst. Perhaps it was refreshing to see a strong female in music who wasn't crying on stage and showing her breasts (see: Courtney Love) which made her so appealing at the time.
Alanis toured Australia in early 1997, I believe and of course Rebecca had to go. Taking a leaf out of my play book, she arrived at the venue over 7 hours before the doors opened to ensure her spot at the front which she did indeed secure. I trained her well. After the show, which she was just glowing from, Agatha, Mark and I picked her up for some follow-up stalking. It's not as sinister as it sounds, it's just easier to call it that. For us, the night isn't over with after the lights go up after the band leaves the stage. No. That's just the intermission. We grabbed Rebecca and positioned the car for a car chase to lead us to Alanis' hotel. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but I can tell you that while a car chase from such a large arena is tough, we pulled it off. We followed the van containing Alanis to the Hyatt on Russell St, where it disappeared into an underground parking garage. We parked on the street and waited in the lobby for Alanis to come down.While we were there, we bumped into some other people from our band chasing scene. We knew them from our rock bands, so we were surprised to see them there. I think they just enjoyed the thrill of the chase which was the only reason Ag and I were interested anyway. Not sure why Mark came along, though he did own Jagged Little Pill. There were only six or seven of us waiting and we managed to talk to some of the people in Alanis' band including a young Taylor Hawkins, the now famous cross-dressing drummer of the Foo Fighters. Finally, Alanis came down and headed for the bar. We called out to her, but she just walked by with her posse and ignored us. This was back before we knew hotel bars allowed anyone off the street come in and drink, so we felt like we were getting away with something by sitting in the lobby. You can do so much more with confidence in your actions!
We were all in shock. Ag and I had done this so many times and had never been met with this kind of response. If she was being mobbed, we'd understand. But there was just two people, one of whom never opened his mouth, and she just couldn't be bothered. It was official: Alanis Morrisette was a complete fucking bitch. Mark seemed angry, while Rebecca was just sad. I felt so bad for her. Upon reporting this story to my mother, a new fury flared up. Our mother was outraged that she didn't have the time for one of the people who helped put her up where she was. To rub salt in the wound, on the same night, there was a special on TV about Alanis where she stated how she always has time for her fans. LIAR.
Years went by but that incident continued to sting my mother, even long after my sister was over it. Any talk of fans and celebrity would lead to my mother's blood boiling and saying "I always think of that Alanis Morissey (sic). Couldn't even give Rebecca an autograph. Who does she think she is? She wouldn't be where she was if not for people like that. If I ever saw her, I'd give her an earful." I kid you not, this came up numerous times for years, and certainly within the last year, so that makes over 10 years of Alanis loathing and fantasy scolding from my mother. I can't tell you how much she longed for this seemingly impossible day when she could stick it to Alanis and tell her was a bad person she was. The venom was as strong this year as it was 11 years ago.
So there before me was the big chance my mother had waited for. The ridiculous chance she talked about but would obviously never, ever be realised was there right before me. For my family honour, I had to get up and say something...
But I couldn't.
I was paralysed. I knew my mother could have done it, but I was too weak, and terrified of humiliation that I just couldn't. Alanis and her crew walked to the elevators and she was gone. My chance was gone. I felt like such a failure to my family.
Just put a fucking sock in it, bitch.