Occasional innocence

It's always a treat to watch a movie again that you knew well as a kid and realise how much innuendo you missed, simply due to the fact that you just too young at the time to know the ways of the world and to grasp the debauchery before you. I somehow managed to believe, though I knew about sex, that in Teen Wolf, when Scott stays back after the theatre rehearsal and Pamela takes off her bra in front him that he kept his clothes on and all they did was kiss. The howl Principal Rusty Thorn hears from the parking lot was merely because Scott was happy to making out with Pamela. I saw it again a few years ago and at the moment of the howl thought "Oh! They were totally fucking and he just blew his load!"

Pamela Wells gets out her goodies for the lucky Scott, but they just kiss and that's it.

Another classic incident was from Ghostbusters when, while interviewing the librarian following her encounter with the free floating vapour in the basement, Venkman asks "Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?" However at the age of 7 and onward for several years after that, I heard it as (since I didn't know what menstruating was) "Are you Alice Menstrating, right now?" like that was her name and he was asking her if she was herself. When the other librarian asks "What's that got to do with it?" "Back off man. I'm a scientist." was the perfect answer because, duh, it was a perfectly valid question to ask if she was Alice Menstrating at that moment! She might have been possessed! Boy, what a revelation that gag was when I saw the movie again!

The offending librarian ghost who just scared the shit out of poor Alice Menstrating.

And then there was that scene in The Neverending Story where Atreyu's horse Artex appears to be sinking into Swamp of Sadness and DYING. Boy, how I cried, but I watched it again and clearly, he's just sinking down into another chamber to hold hot "counsel" with other horses and unicorns. Yeah, that's what's really happening in that scene. He's TOTALLY, 100% alive though. I was so naive...

I'm sure everyone can think of instances like these, but as we grow up, through constant exposure to sex and innuendo, most of us are desensitised and see the crude and sexual gags as they were intended. My sister saw Pretty Woman at age 11 and didn't know what Vivian did for a living but that's just not going to happen today. As for me, I became the the foul mouthed, perverted minded person I am now at quite a young age, but there have been a couple of incidents recently, which show a shred of naivety left in me. Rather than being embarrassed by these things going over my head, I'm going to embrace them.

A couple of years ago, there were posters posted around our neighbourhood for the LA Leather Festival. I didn't think much about it, until Gregg asked our friend Emma who was visiting, with a faux sex voice "Soooo, are you going to the LA leather festival?" and Emma said she might and snickered and I just thought nothing of this exchange. I was just against a leather festival from being a vegetarian and an avoider of leather. I'm not sure how it was revealed, but it soon came to be known that I thought the LA Leather Festival was some sort of celebration of leather and it's uses and would sport a wide selection of belts and handbags. Once I realised what, in one of the gayest pockets of LA, the festival was, I sure felt daft. Still, I appreciated that for once, my mind didn't go straight to the gutter as it usually does.

Which leather festival suits your needs?

The most recent incident occurred at a Supergrass/Foo Fighters show. Stephanie and I were waiting around to go backstage after the Supergrass set and I saw a guy with a t-shirt that I thought said "Put Willy Wonka In Your Chocolate Factory" and I just thought it was a cute, and funny suggestion to other chocolatiers to make their factories better by putting the master, Willy Wonka in charge. I expressed this to Stephanie and she just laughed at me and said something like "They are talking about putting his wiener in your butthole!" and I said "No way!" and defended it. She went on to say it said "Put MY Willy Wonka in your Chocolate Factory" but since a fold in the shirt or faulty contact lenses made it difficult to see, I missed the "my". (I swear I'd have gotten it if I'd seen that) I insisted it was a nice sentiment being corrupted by Stephanie's sick mind. I usually hold her sick mind in the highest regard, but in this instance, I was against it. Stephanie later relayed the exchange to Gaz from Supergrass to which he said "He's talking about his penis." I was starting to realise I'd lost this one and I went on to explain my error with the LA Leather Festival. Gaz said it was nice to be innocent sometimes (I just hope he didn't think I was always that daft since we'd just met) and provided he wasn't humouring me, I agree with that sentiment.

Here's the shirt. I was wrong. It says "MY" plain as day.