Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Glory holes

Homer: We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget -- we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup.

The fact that Homer Simpson ever said the above quote has both baffled and delighted Gregg and I for a number of years. I had forgotten everything surrounding the quote and from which episode it had come from, just that he was praising the invention of the glory hole. Now that I fished out that quote, I see it is from the Halloween episode where the dolphins take over, an episode which had few redeeming qualities. But since that quote lives on, it certainly makes it worth something.

But WHY is Homer at all enamoured with the glory hole? Is he just happy to know that such a thing exists? I know there are alternate meanings for glory hole, but I think for that gag to work, he has to mean a blow job/fuck hole.

The idea of using such a thing simply baffles me. I mean, I'm afraid to close my eyes and open my mouth when Gregg is going to surprise me with some food. This is someone I love and trust, trust not to put wet bread or anything pickled onto my tongue, yet I still flinch at the approach of the mystery food item. The last time he did it, it was my all time favourite candy! So if I have this much fear from a loved one over food, I can't imagine sinking a precious organ into a hole for god knows who to do god knows what with.

A stylised glory hole, and one that seems to have been cut in an emergency.

So I say kudos to the man who, for the time being, has the balls to offer his penis up to the unknown.

To learn more about glory holes, click here.
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